Reclamation

So, wow, yep, its been two months. Two months of pondering and deeply considering what exactly to say on my next post - actually I've just sorta abandoned blogger for a time. But i'm back. Today atleast.

So I was thinking today - Ive been struggling with something for sometime now - something thats affected a lot of what i do and how I live - and I came to this peace today. In the bathroom actually. I was just passing through, don't worry. I'm pretty sure I was just checking myself out in the mirror. But I thought to myself - life isn't worth worrying over every detail and every circumstance. I've had that said to me SO so so many times, and I've never been able to say it myself. But today (and hopefully tomorrow), I just told myself - It's time to enjoy life and the things God has given me and will continually given me - the relationships, my husband, all those moments that I WANT to enjoy - There's always this thing in the way, nagging in the back of my mind telling me I can't enjoy life until my problems are solved, but WHY NOT???

Wouldn't it be SOO freeing if we could just give it up? Just let it go and move on? Im going to try to. It doesn't mean I'm going to push my problems away and pretend they don't exist, but they don't have to consume me. They don't have to decide my future. I believe we can live in faith and expectation of what God will do.

I'm sorry this is so vague - but I hope in some way it makes sense to you - it's just given me a totaly sense of freedom. Of being able to reclaim my life and my dreams - and even just the small enjoyments of every day. Circumstances don't have to control us! And that's pretty amazing.

Caring Equals Sharing

Okay that has got to be THE worst sounding title ever. But as I thought of what to call this blog - it just made perfect sense.

I saw a movie, and it really struck me...

"The Pursuit of Happyness". (I know, the spelling is wrong, but see the movie and you'll understand)

Anyways, I don't feel like explaining the movie, see it for yourself, it was phenomenal. But this is what I took from it, and really, it doesn't have much to do with the plot of the movie, but I think God just really used it to shake me up a little about my life -
So basically the guy (will smith) and his son, are extremely poor, barely getting by, his wife leaves him, and they have to make it, so he pursues a career as a stock broker and works without a wage for 6 months, meanwhile, unable to make ends meet, etc. etc. you get the point. ( I just explained the movie didn't I?)

But somehow, as I was watching this, I got really angry, and annoyed. With myself, and with other people, and the point that it hit me, was when Will smith and his kid were lined up for a homeless shelter, and a convertable flies by with happy (likely intoxicated) young adults laughing and joyful - and they'ere a line up of hundreds of people who are starving and homeless.

And so - this is my question: and weirdly enough, this verse that came to my mind during the movie, came up twice the next day, and I was challenged again in two different sermons:

How are we as the church supposed to be supporting and sacrificing for our communities?

Acts 4:32 says: 32 "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had". In another translation it says they sold their belongings so that they could provide for each other. (Immediatley i thought of ebay)

Is this no longer relevant for us today? Is it okay that we hold onto things (that aren't even ours to begin with, they're God's), and watch people around us suffer? We can say the church is giving and providing, but I'm part of the church, and Im not suring I'm doing it. Sure we give our 'tithes and offerings", and part of that goes to helping those in need, but are we willing to "sell our posessions", to GIVE of ourselves so that other's can live? i might think I'm poor...sure we have debt and low paying jobs, but I have it GREAT compared to others.

So am I supposed to give up what I have for people I don't even know? Or am I allowed to hang onto my posessions and live in my life of "luxury"?

And what responsibility does the church have? Should we be making the extra effort to open our doors to the homeless?? Or is it not worth the hassle?

I'm actually super frusterated, and unsure with these questions. I actually don't know how to answer them, and what part I need to play. Maybe part of me knows - but that part of me doesn't want to care, because it means I have to give up the things I hold on to so tight.

We've got this so called "Standard of Living" a way of life that is comfortable and satisfying to us, but then there are people who's standard of living consists of a box and a buggy- and I'm not promoting communism, but some of its idealism is great - why should anyone have to suffer?

Imagine how the world would view the church if the church cared about the world.

anyways, that was way too long, but its on my heart. and I really want to hear what you have to say!