So, wow, yep, its been two months. Two months of pondering and deeply considering what exactly to say on my next post - actually I've just sorta abandoned blogger for a time. But i'm back. Today atleast.
So I was thinking today - Ive been struggling with something for sometime now - something thats affected a lot of what i do and how I live - and I came to this peace today. In the bathroom actually. I was just passing through, don't worry. I'm pretty sure I was just checking myself out in the mirror. But I thought to myself - life isn't worth worrying over every detail and every circumstance. I've had that said to me SO so so many times, and I've never been able to say it myself. But today (and hopefully tomorrow), I just told myself - It's time to enjoy life and the things God has given me and will continually given me - the relationships, my husband, all those moments that I WANT to enjoy - There's always this thing in the way, nagging in the back of my mind telling me I can't enjoy life until my problems are solved, but WHY NOT???
Wouldn't it be SOO freeing if we could just give it up? Just let it go and move on? Im going to try to. It doesn't mean I'm going to push my problems away and pretend they don't exist, but they don't have to consume me. They don't have to decide my future. I believe we can live in faith and expectation of what God will do.
I'm sorry this is so vague - but I hope in some way it makes sense to you - it's just given me a totaly sense of freedom. Of being able to reclaim my life and my dreams - and even just the small enjoyments of every day. Circumstances don't have to control us! And that's pretty amazing.
