Underoath

I was listening to Praise 106.5 today, and i listened to one song, and then another, and i could have sworn it was the same song 3 times in a row. And so i switched it back to the fox, and then the beat, as I muc h prefer to get pumped up on Eminem and Nelly Furtado...

Anyways, Jabin and I were driving tonight, and i think we were listening to 106.5...and I mentioned how I just dont enjoy listening to it, and out of it came an interesting discussion.
We talked about how Christian artists write all these songs, and we sing all these songs, about devoting our lives to God, and how we're passionate about him, and how we will read our bible everyday, and how he is our world, and our life...and we make all these promises to him that we dont even realize we're making??! I should really find the reference, and if someone knows it, please share it, but I know it says in the bible not to make an oath to God if you are not willing to keep it.

So the question I pose:
What does an oath qualify as, and if we are singing these songs, and vowing these things, and stating things about our Christian walk that might not even be true, is that right?? Or is there more to this that I just don't see?

"How Useful Thou Art"

The title of this blog is something I heard in the sermon at church
today. It was that sometimes we stop singing "How Great Thou
Art, And start singing " How useful Thou Art"...and I, am guilty.

I love those moments when you have a total revelation of God, and what he is doing in your life. For a while now I've been trying to figure out what is God's been trying to teach me through a certain obstacle thats been put in my way. Ive tried everything i know. Ive always been great at manipulation and getting just exactly what I want, when I want it. I've been bargaining with God for the past few months, trying to work a deal that benefits both of us, you know, playing it clean...but somehow he
hasn't taken me up on it....
I didn't really consciously realize I was doing this until today. Or atleast not to the degree I was doing it, but I realized that by doing this, I'm inhibiting God's blessing. I dont think it necessarily means that I'm missing out on a bargain...but I'm missing out on what God desires during this trial. I've always said , "I know God is putting me through this for a reason" But I never bothered to really seek out the reason, I just sought after the results I wanted.
So today at church, Pastor Jim preached this great sermon. you know when you hear those sermons, and you're like, WOW, that was for me. I tend to think that most of the time..but this one really hit me. i had this huge revelation of God. It pains him to see where I am at...the issues I'm going through..but more than that, my relationship. Don't get me wrong, I pray every day, but only really out of desperation and great need.

But today i realized this : God is willing to go to extreme measures for us, He will take things as far as he needs to in order to get ahold of us. I think I always knew that..but I didn't realize that it hurts him more than it hurts us. He wants more than anything to have an intimate and personal relationship with me..but I wanted nothing but results. And because of that, I've been missing out on his blessing. So, I'm going to journey, and see where He takes me....

Good airtime

This issue is ongoing, and ongoing, and ongoing, and frankly, I have had about enough of it. I have one question - WHY is it that we are able to unite together with the ultimate determination on fighting the issue of gay rights and gay marriage etc etc. , but we can't bring ourselves together for the causes of Jesus. I'm not trying to sound heathenistic, my beliefs are the same as the rest, but I believe there are bigger things that I need to fight for. I caught the end of "The Hour" tonight, http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/video.php?id=1107 and it was a Christian leader of some sort - I'm not sure of his religous background, discussing the impact the Christian leaders of all denominatinos are having in the fight against gay marriage. He boasted of how this issue has brought unity among Christians leaders in Canada - to Which George Strombolopolous replied - "why the issue of gay marriage, why not a bigger issue like poverty, or religous fighting?" The guy then says "sure, sounds great, maybe after this..." or something of the like. I was mad. I'll say it. I felt embarassed to be a Christian...Not ashamed to be a follower of Christ, but ashamed that those publicly and loudly representing what I believe, represent on such a shallow level. Perhaps I'm being too judgemental, or too liberal. But I just feel like the impact that these Christians leaders COULD have, is much bigger, and in the realm of all things, much more important. I know the media uses these people to exploit Christianity ...but maybe if we united in things like poverty and justice, and made enough noise and impact, we'd get some good airtime.

"Bloom where you are planted"

This slightly loserish sounding quote initially reminds me of a book I read in elementry school called "Leo the Late Bloomer". My former youth pastor always quoted it (The quote, not the book), I'm pretty sure it was a poster from his childhood in his bathroom or something - But recently its become a quote of importance to me. In my constant quest to figure out what life is about, and my unique purpose in it, I've gotten quite lost. I've always felt - as im sure so many others have - that I need to a have some great dream and fufill that dream. Well, eventually I got over that dream hype, and realized dreams can be big, and they can be small. And so I tried to figure out what it was I was going to do. What I was good at, what I'd enjoy in life...the usual young adult aged thing to do. But I was getting no where. And I've come to a point now, that I'm still not totally sure of what my life and 'dreams' might look like..but thats okay.

Right now I'm working part time in retail. And a lot of people, myself included, may think thats a pretty LAME job. i thought so up until recently. I was actually embarrassed to tell people where I worked. I felt like I hadn't really accomplished anything post-highschool.I wasn't in university getting a degree, I was working at Bootlegger. Recently I was challenged to find the purpose in my job...and in doing that, I've found more than one outlet in my work to bloom... Not only am I surrounded by girls that I can encourage and listen to and love...but I have customers that come in feeling awful, and leave feeling great..Who would ever thought you could minister while selling jeans? Sure I'm not preaching the gospel - but I get to make that 16 year old girl with low self esteem - feel like a million dollars...

Anyways, thats my word(s) for the day. no matter where we're at, what we're doing ... God wants to fufill his dream through us. Maybe its not so much about what we're dreaming , but what God's dreaming that we COULD be doing??! But we're missing out because we feel like we've got to find our purpose. Bloom where you're planted.

The first words are the worst..because you never know what they should be. it seems like i should have some profound entry statement into the world of blogging, but, alas, I don't.
So I'll say a bunch of cliches and dismiss myself until my second blog, in which I can say anything, because no one really places judgement on the second blog. Only the first for some reason..perhaps because I have the amateur blogger status and so all those bloggers before me are critically analyzing every word i say. Or maybe thats me...and maybe i'm just paranoid...
Maybe I'll just stop here and keep it simple.
That's all.

- A Postal