"How Useful Thou Art"

The title of this blog is something I heard in the sermon at church
today. It was that sometimes we stop singing "How Great Thou
Art, And start singing " How useful Thou Art"...and I, am guilty.

I love those moments when you have a total revelation of God, and what he is doing in your life. For a while now I've been trying to figure out what is God's been trying to teach me through a certain obstacle thats been put in my way. Ive tried everything i know. Ive always been great at manipulation and getting just exactly what I want, when I want it. I've been bargaining with God for the past few months, trying to work a deal that benefits both of us, you know, playing it clean...but somehow he
hasn't taken me up on it....
I didn't really consciously realize I was doing this until today. Or atleast not to the degree I was doing it, but I realized that by doing this, I'm inhibiting God's blessing. I dont think it necessarily means that I'm missing out on a bargain...but I'm missing out on what God desires during this trial. I've always said , "I know God is putting me through this for a reason" But I never bothered to really seek out the reason, I just sought after the results I wanted.
So today at church, Pastor Jim preached this great sermon. you know when you hear those sermons, and you're like, WOW, that was for me. I tend to think that most of the time..but this one really hit me. i had this huge revelation of God. It pains him to see where I am at...the issues I'm going through..but more than that, my relationship. Don't get me wrong, I pray every day, but only really out of desperation and great need.

But today i realized this : God is willing to go to extreme measures for us, He will take things as far as he needs to in order to get ahold of us. I think I always knew that..but I didn't realize that it hurts him more than it hurts us. He wants more than anything to have an intimate and personal relationship with me..but I wanted nothing but results. And because of that, I've been missing out on his blessing. So, I'm going to journey, and see where He takes me....